Is it Betrayal?
by Yami Yami Yugi
Summary: This warm, comforting feeling I get when I think of him... In my heart it feels so right. So why does it also feel like betrayal? Warning: Shounen-ai
1. Stalker

**Author's Note:** I've decided that Hakuren needs more love, so this is a cute little something that I came up with while photo shopping together a 07-Ghost signature.

Time-line: I only know the story up to the North American Manga release (chapter 17) and what the anime has shown thus far (episode 14), and this takes place at some point between the two, so please ignore any discrepancies that might arise from further knowledge.

And also, if you have read ahead, please no spoilers? *bows*

I hope you enjoy. Reviews and critique are most appreciated.

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_Disclaimer: This is a fan made work. Not for sale, auction, or distribution. I do not own 07-Ghost or any of its characters._

_Warnings: Light shonen-ai (boyxboy)._

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Teito walked casually through the halls of the church, watching with mild interest as parishioners mingled in the main courtyard. Mikage was bouncing actively from one of his shoulders to the other, perfectly cheerful as usual. As Teito turned a corner, two young children ran past him, playing a game of tag. Teito dodged to the side to avoid them, causing the little pink dragon to fall short of his mark and have to latch onto the side of his robes to keep from falling.

"Pyaa!"

Teito quickly picked him up and held him in his hand.

"Hey, be careful, you."

Mikage growled playfully and jumped onto his head, chewing on Teito's hair. Teito rolled his eyes. Typical. Mikage would always be Mikage after all.

Teito soon found himself on one of the rooftop gardens. Nobody else was around, which was perfect for him. He plopped himself down on a bench and sighed, happy for a quiet place to think. Things had been getting more and more hectic with each day, especially with the Bishop's exam approaching. Even though he was getting better prepared for both the written and practical portions, his mind had been wandering more and more, and he was worried it was starting to show.

But he just couldn't stop thinking about him. Sometimes he would find himself daydreaming and then realize that he had spent hours just wondering about him, and feeling so content. Why?

Why couldn't he get him out of his mind?

"Hey! Teito!"

"Buru-pya!"

Teito looked over his shoulder to see his roommate jogging towards him. Mikage jumped to from Teito's head to the older boy's, purring happily. The blonde tapped the dragon on the head, earning a chomp on his finger, before turning back to Teito.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you said you'd be in the library."

Hakuren.

His view of Hakuren had changed so much in the short time since he'd met him. He was an incredibly strange individual, but Teito couldn't think of many people who could so easily and loyally attach themselves to another human being the way he did.

Mikage got bored with Hakuren and jumped back to Teito's shoulder, nuzzling his neck.

Maybe only one other.

"So, what are you doing all the way up here?"

"I just needed a place to think."

And Hakuren being there made it all the more difficult. How could he clear his mind when the person who had been plaguing it kept showing up? Hakuren always seemed to be able to track him down and would turn up everywhere he went. As the days went by, Hakuren seemed to want to be around him more and more. It was starting to get creepy.

And yet, Teito couldn't help but get this warm feeling in his chest every time he saw Hakuren.

"Oh." Hakuren took a seat next to Teito. "Do you come up here often, then? I don't think I've seen you in this part of the Church before."

"No," Teito said. "I haven't been up here recently at all." Not since Mikage died, now that he thought about it. What was it that compelled him to come this way to begin with he wondered…

"I see. Though you probably shouldn't be coming to such remote places be yourself, you know. In case you haven't noticed, trouble has a way of finding you awfully easily."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Teito jumped up and Hakuren laughed. Teito pouted, causing the blonde to laugh even harder.

"Nothing, but you're kind of cute when you get flustered."

Teito felt his face heat up, and he tried to hide it behind a glare. "What are you, my keeper? Is that why you keep following me everywhere?"

Hakuren's laugh finally died down and he looked up at Teito curiously.

"Following you?"

"Don't go playing dumb. I can't go anywhere without you showing your face two minutes later. Geez, you're such a stalker."

Hakuren stood up with a frown.

"Am I bothering you?"

Teito tensed. "No-no, I didn't say that-"

"Because if I'm in the way, then I'll just go somewhere else."

"I didn't say that!" The guy could be so unreasonable sometimes! Why did he have to take things so personally? "You can stay, alright?"

Hakuren studied him for a moment before walking up to him and reached over Teito's head. For a second he though he was going to mess up his hair and call him a school kid or something. Instead he felt a light brush on his hair before Hakuren withdrew.

"You had a leaf in your hair."

Hakuren held out the leaf for Teito to see.

"Oh… thanks." Why was his heart suddenly pounding so quickly? Teito swallowed. When Hakuren brushed against his hair… what was that feeling doing to him?

"Hey, are you alright."

Teito nodded once and looked away, hoping his blush wasn't obvious. He heard Hakuren take a step closer and felt his hand come down on his shoulder. Teito lifted his head up in surprise and Hakuren's lips press against his. Teito froze.

Wh-wh-what the hell was he doing!?

Teito's eyes widened. For a moment he was too stunned to do anything. But a second later he kissed him back, placing is hands on the older boy's shoulders and pulling him closer. He had no idea what he was doing. This light, warm feeling in his chest, the sensation of Hakuren against him... Why did it feel so right?

He felt a tickle on the back of his neck, and he tried to shrug the annoying cause away, mad that it was ruining this moment. A second later it felt like a weight had fallen from the back of his neck and he heard a pained sound.

"Pya!"

Teito immediately pulled back, felt that he stepped on something soft, and heard another pained squeak. He gasped and quickly leaped off of Mikage's tail. The little dragon jumped up and ran up to Teito's chest, and Teito quickly wrapped his arms around its tiny form, nuzzling his soft fur.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He'd forgotten Mikage was even there. How could he? How could he do something so horrible?

"So am I."

Teito jolted his head up. Hakuren.

Hakuren looked at him with hurt in his eyes. Cold dread fell into the pit of Teito's stomach. Hakuren had just made himself so vulnerable to him and he just pushed him away. Teito opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. This feeling he had when he was around Hakuren… he wanted more of it. He had such a strong, uncontrollable desire to be with Hakuren.

But, Mikage…

Hakuren closed his eyes and turned around. "I'm sorry... I'll go now." He walked out of the courtyard and disappeared into the dark breezeway. Long after he was gone, Teito continued to stare.

He was alone again. Just he and Mikage. It was like it had always been, after all. Teito softly stroked the little dragon behind the ears, getting a happy growl/purr in response. It was all he had ever wanted.

So what was this heavy weight pressing against his chest? Why was his head pounding and breathing becoming harder to do? There was a horrible empty feeling in his heart, something he hadn't felt since Mikage died.

Teito squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Mikage close. Why this horrible feeling of loss? Hakuren wasn't dying. He was still with him, as his roommate, partner, and friend. So similar to what he had with Mikage. It was all he had needed with Mikage.

But he wanted more than that. He wanted Hakuren so badly it made his heart ache and head spin. But how could he? Did he care for him more than he had Mikage? Was that possible? Was it fair? Why did it feel like betrayal?

Teito ran out of the courtyard and back into the Church's main building, feeling Mikage clinging safely into his shoulder. He didn't know. He didn't know the answers to any of the questions that barraged his very soul.

He sprinted as fast at he could, turning randomly, not even sure if he was on the right trail, just hoping he could find Hakuren. Because the one thing he did know was that he would not loose him like this. He refused to loose anyone important to him ever again.

He spotted the end of Hakuren's long blonde ponytail just as he turned the corner into the dorm wing.

"Hakuren!"

He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't know what to do. He just knew he couldn't let Hakuren go.

"Hakuren, wait!"

[End Chapter One]

To be continued…つづく

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**Author's Note 2:** If I finish this, it'll probably be only one more part, but I'm not sure if I'm going to yet. Let me know if you liked it or not and I'll see. Thanks for reading!


	2. Reflex

**Author's Note:** Wow, I didn't know there were HakurenxTeito fans actually out there. Quit hiding in the woodwork guys! We need to unite and take over the fandom! Haha.

Well, here's the final part. This part was actually a lot easier to write than the first one. Maybe Hakuren's head is easier to get into? Haha. But anyway, I really like these two, so hopefully I'll get to write more of them.

And as before, please no series spoilers? -bows-

I hope you enjoy. Reviews and critique are most appreciated.

* * *

_Disclaimer: This is a fan made work. Not for sale, auction, or distribution. I do not own 07-Ghost or any of its characters._

_Warnings: Shonen-ai (boyxboy)._

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Hakuren stormed though the church towards the dormitories. He felt like a fool. What had he been thinking, kissing Teito like that? No, he hadn't been thinking at all. He didn't intend it. But when he'd seen him in the garden, he looked so beautiful, as delicate and flawless as the flowers that surrounded him. He just had to approach him. And then he had been so cute when he became flustered. He just couldn't hold back anymore.

He'd known he had feelings for the younger boy for a while now. He couldn't deny that. But he had been able to hold back, watching him from a distance, and making excuses to spend time with him. In those innocent moments, he found himself loving Teito more and more. His intensity in training, the way he became flustered so easily, those rare moments when he would stare off into space and smile, they were all precious to him.

The memory alone warmed him. He truly loved that smile. He loved Teito. He wanted Teito to love him back. And now he was paying the price.

The worst of it was, for a split second, he thought Teito had returned his feelings. He thought he had kissed him back, pulled him closer, and needed him just as much. But of course that was nothing but wishful thinking. Teito had been very clear in his response.

Hakuren walked faster. God, it hurt so much. His heart felt like it was being ripped in two. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed and forget any of this had ever happened.

He turned the corner into the dorm hallway, nearly there when he heard the one voice that he most desperately did and did not want to hear.

"Hakuren, wait!"

Hakuren stopped and immediately cursed himself for doing so. He didn't want to stop for Teito. He wanted to get as far away from him as he could and prevent anymore pain and humiliation. But he just couldn't do it. He couldn't say "no" to the person he loved.

He felt a tug on his sleeve and turned around to see Teito grasping it. His head was down, so he couldn't see his face, but he was breathing hard. He'd probably sprinted all the way over.

"Ha-Hakuren… I—" Teito continued to gasp for breath. Hakuren waited for him to catch it so he could talk. He'd let Teito say whatever he had to, and then it would be done with. They could put this behind them and go back to just being roommates.

So Hakuren waited. And waited. But Teito did not look up, nor hid he stop his heavy gasping. It was only in the split second before the smaller boy fell down to his knees did Hakuren realize that he was sobbing.

"Teito!"

It was a reflex. He just couldn't seem to get rid of it. The uncontrollable need to protect and shield. He didn't know what always drove him to do it so easily, but he was able to shove aside his own needs, his own pains, and focus on those of the crying boy in his arms.

"I-I can't— I want… and he was…" Teito continued to sob, and Hakuren held him tighter, heart breaking as he did so.

Mikage.

He looked at the little pink dragon who sat sadly on Teito's shoulder, nuzzling his neck. He was always by Teito's side. He died to protect him and was reborn so he could continue to do so. That was a love and devotion that Hakuren couldn't match as he was now.

"I just can't compete with him, can I?" He asked miserably, more to himself than anyone.

Teito shook his head and it felt like a punch to the gut. Hakuren closed his eyes in resignation. So that was it, then. He could never have Teito.

"He was my very best friend," Teito said, starting to clam down. "He was the only person I ever l-loved."

Enough. Hakuren tensed up, inadvertently bringing Teito closer. He didn't want to hear this. His couldn't take it.

"And then you came around and I liked you too, but…"

"But it wasn't the same," Hakuren finished. Enough. Just end it. Please.

"No, it wasn't. It was different. It kept growing and morphing and getting s-stronger until… until it surpassed anything I had ever felt for Mikage!"

What?

Hakuren lifted his head. Teito was sobbing once again, but he just kept talking.

"I don't know what to do! I never thought I could ever care about anyone more than I did Mikage. But these feeling just keep pounding at me and it feels like my heart's going to burst if I don't do something."

"Teito…"

"But I can't! I just can't! How could I betray his memory like that? It's not fair! How could I love anyone more than I loved Mikage? How could I possibly like you like this when Mikage is dead!"

Teito finally looked up at him. In his tear filled eyes, Hakuren saw fear, confusion, suffering, loss… but there was also devotion, and love. Hakuren whipped a falling tear, and gently rested his fingers against Teito's cheek.

"I'm scared. I so scared, Hakuren." He lowered his eyes again and buried his face in his chest. Hakuren could feel tiny drops of water soaking though his shirt. "I'm so afraid I'll like you so much, that I'll forget Mikage. I just can't do that…"

Hakuren rested his hands on Teito's shoulders and kissed him softly on the top of his head. It seemed to help a little.

"I know" Hakuren said, "that you will never forget Mikage. You could never forget someone who is so important to you, no matter what.

"Besides," Hakuren poked the little dragon on the head, and it in turn chomped down on his finger. "He is still always by your side. You probably couldn't get rid of him if you wanted to."

Teito didn't say anything, only put a hand over Mikage. Hakuren, in turn, put his hand over Teito's.

"You can care for someone else without disrespecting Mikage's memory. I never had the honor of meeting him, but I don't think he would have given up his life just so you could spend the rest of yours mourning his."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Teito whispered. "I know it already. I've resolved what to do with this life he gave me. But this is different. I don't know if I can…"

Hakuren signed, and pulled away just slightly. He didn't want to pressure him. But he desperately needed him to know.

"You are still in mourning, and you need to keep taking the time you need. But I just want you to know that, should the time come, I'll be right here waiting for you. Because I also care very deeply for you."

Hakuren tilted Teito's chin up and looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you," he said, and kissed him softly, savoring the sweet moment, for he knew he might not get another chance for a long time.

He only let it last a second before he pulled back. That was it. He could wait. He would wait for as long as it took for Teito to be ready to love him.

Hakuren pushed himself back up to his feet and held out his hand to Teito. Teito took it and pulled himself up, and then leapt at Hakuren, wrapping his arms around his neck and slamming their lips together with enough force to bruise. Hakuren froze for an instant before quickly, but gently pushing Teito off.

"Teito, what are you-"

"I don't know," Teito breathed before kissing him again, with even more desperation. Hakuren felt his tongue slide into his mouth and pressed back against him before he quickly regained his senses and pulled back again, an action that was becoming increasingly harder to do.

"But you said-"

"That I'm scared!" Teito cried, tears falling again. "I am! I'm confused, and hurt, and I don't know what to do! But that doesn't mean that I don't already love you too!"

Teito kissed him again, and Hakuren nearly lost himself completely. He pulled Teito even closer and felt himself get backed into a wall. He wanted him. He needed him so much it hurt. But was this right? He broke the kiss again.

"Teito…"

"I can't deny this feeling any more." He said, looking deeply into his eyes. They were mesmerizing. Hakuren couldn't look away. "I think that's all I was doing. I was denying that I loved you, because I was afraid of betraying Mikage. And I'm still scared, but… it also feels right. I would by lying if I said I'm not already sure I love you more than anyone else in the world."

This time when Teito kissed him, Hakuren couldn't even think about pulling away. Every ounce of love and passion he felt for the other boy poured out of him. He couldn't leash it any longer either.

Hakuren ran his tongue over Teito's lips and they parted for him, giving him access. He let himself explore his mouth, taking in as much as he could, gently sucking on the younger boy's tongue. He felt Teito moan and pull even closer, pushing Hakuren across the wall. He hardly noticed the act. He was completely lost in the sweet taste of the kiss, the comforting feeling of the embrace. He barely heard the door to their room open, or noticed that he was being led inside.

But he noticed with disappointment when Teito's arms released their embrace. And because of that, he was aware of Teito's hands fumbling with the top of his robes. In that moment, something clicked back into place and Hakuren, once again, pulled away from Teito.

"What are you doing?" he murmured. He could barely think strait.

Teito responded by kissing him again with even more passion. Hakuren moaned. God, it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

"Teito, we can't," he whined. "We're in a Church." Teito kissed him again. Wait why did that matter? "We're about to take the Bishop's exam." Another kiss. Oh why did that all sound so arbitrary all of a sudden.

"Exactly," Teito whispered. "We may never get another chance."

Hakuren felt his knees go weak. Teito finally got the tie undone and he felt the top of his robe begin to slip off. He wanted to keep going. Oh how he wanted to give in. So it took every last ounce of self control to get out his next words.

"Teito, no."

And Teito pulled away.

A second later Hakuren let out a loud, frustrated cry and threw himself onto his bed. He hated this! He hated having to stop. He knew he'd regret it later if he didn't, but it was just so hard. It was so God damned frustrating!

Teito plopped himself onto his own bed and groaned. For Teito, that was a cry of frustration just as loud as Hakuren's. Mikage bounced up next to him and lightly nipped at his hand with sympathy. Teito stroked the top of his head.

"This sucks," he said.

"Tell me about it," Hakuren groaned. They both knew they couldn't do it. They had more than just their own personal feelings to consider. They both had so much at stake.

Hakuren glanced at Teito.

But that didn't mean he didn't still want to be together.

He picked himself off of his bed and sat down beside him. Teito looked up at him curiously and Hakuren wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. He wouldn't let go this time. He would not pull away again.

"I love you, Teito," he said. "I don't think I will ever love anyone as much as I do you. No matter what, I want to be by your side, forever." He rested his head against Teito's soft hair and sighed. "I know it isn't much to give, but I hope it's enough."

Teito wrapped his arms around Hakuren's waist and buried his face in his chest. "It's enough," he whispered. "It's more than enough."

Teito fisted the back of Hakuren's robes, and Hakuren thought he might have started crying again. It made him want to hold him tighter, bring him closer, though that was no longer possible at this point.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

[End Chapter Two]

The End. おわり

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**Author's Note 2:** Awwww. -gives herself a cavity-

Okay, so I'm not completely happy with how I ended it, but I think it's sweet enough to hold up, yes? -looks hopeful- In the end, I couldn't decide who would say the last "I love you"-s in what order, so I left it ambiguous. What do you guys think? Was it Teito or Hakuren?

Oh, and cookies to anyone who can spot the part I yanked right out of the manga. Haha. (Here's a hint. It's in volume 3.)

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. Keep an eye out, and maybe I'll be inspired for some more HakurenxTeito. And maybe I'll finally get the next chapter of CFOP out too…


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